Monday, 9 July 2012

Comedy of errror

This incident that happened with me is almost six months old now. It was a scorching hot day.I came out with my colleague for a quick tea break.

 As soon as we exited the main gate of our office, a man with long hair and dark complexion caught us and started informing us about global warming and its impact on environment in his unique accent. He then told us that he was working for an NGO and wanted us to contribute for the noble cause of saving the environment. My friend and I somehow managed to excuse ourselves but he did not let us go without getting some means to communicate with us (you can imagine how pestering these people can be sometimes). And so, he managed to get our cellular numbers.

A week later, I got a call from the same NGO. A lady with a nice husky voice was on the line. She explained to me how good NGO was working and that I should contribute. Obviously, I was not willing to contribute, especially because it is money that we are talking about here. Somehow, I could not manage to say ‘No’ to her. She then added that a committee member from the NGO would come to my office to collect the money in a day or two. I saved the NGO number in my contact list and made a mental note to not pick up call from this number.

The very next day I got a call from my office reception saying that two girls have come to visit me. Since I did not know who the receptionist was talking about, I rushed downstairs to the receptionist’s office. The girls, one, a typical Tamilian girl and other a skinny girl from north-east India, simultaneously waved in my direction. I don’t know how they figured out that I was the ‘Bakra’ they were looking for to squeeze some money. After exchanging greetings, I noticed that the receptionist was throwing dirty looks at me. Feeling uncomfortable, I asked the two girls to move out of the building and have a talk.

We came out of my office building. The Tamilian girl started explaining to me the happenings and the activities performed by the NGO and their future plans while the north-eastern girl kept smiling at me.
She then handed me a form to fill. The form was basically an agreement according to which 300 rupees would be transferred directly from my bank account to the NGO’s account every month for a period of one year. She asked me to make a full one year’s contribution in advance, however, I agreed to contribute only 300 bucks and ensured to sign in a fake signature on the form so as to get the bank to reject the application.

Two months later, while checking my Bank Transactions statement, I found that 300 rupees were getting deducted from my account. I was mighty pissed. How can a bank accept an application with fake signature? They must have gone in cahoots with the NGO.

The very next morning, I went to the nearest bank to stop this crap immediately. The banker gave me a wicked smile saying that this NGO comes to their branch only for all their bank work and assured me that my money will not be deducted next month onwards.

I saved the NGO number and never answered any of their calls henceforth.

In middle of all this happenings, I applied for a credit card and gave my office address for delivery. I kept getting updates through SMS about the progress of card issue and delivery. Then I received an SMS about the card going back undelivered. Wait… card went back undelivered? How is that possible when I had not taken a single day off from office? I called to customer care service immediately and they explained that I was not available at the time of delivery. How could this be possible? Anyway, I chose to ignore it, assuming that there must have been some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding. The customer care service agreed to re-dispatch the credit card. I then received the same sequence of messages about the card delivery. This time again, I received the same message about the card getting undelivered. I was mighty pissed with the bank. I called their customer care service and gave them a piece of my mind. They humbly apologized to me and ensure to personally track this with the courier agency.
Meanwhile I had ordered for some electronic stuff online and as usual gave my office address for its delivery. A week later I got a call from an unknown number. It was from a courier agency that had come to deliver the electronic stuff I had ordered online. They called to inform me that they had come to my office a day before for delivering my order. My office security guard had given me a call but I had not answered it. They then told me that they would come that day post lunch time for delivery.

I tried to remember if the security guard had called me the day before. If the courier agency did come to my office for the delivery of my order, the security guard would have called me. But he hadn’t. I also remembered that the NGO had called me that day; I had not answered only their call. Maybe the security guard might have not let the courier guy in or maybe the courier agency might have been lying. I was just speculating.

It was post lunch time. I knew the courier guy would come anytime now to office for delivery. I then got a call from the NGO. I thought to not answer it, but then, something clicked in my mind, and I picked up the call.To my surprise, it was the security guard was on line. He told me that there was a courier delivery in my name and asked me to come and collect it.

What the hell! I told to myself.

I had accidently saved security guard’s extension number with the NGO’s name on my mobile. It was the security guard’s calls that I was ignoring. And this was the reason why my credit card and my free charge coupons went undelivered. All this while, all my orders were being diligently delivered, and it was the security guard’s calls I was ignoring assuming that they were from the NGO.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Lyrics of Nain Parindey Song

Nain parindey, pagle do nain
Nain parindey, jaagein din raein
Nain parindey, pagle do nain
Nain parindey, jaagein din raein
Pankh jhatak yeh udh jayenge
Aasmaan mein kho jayenge
Maghroor bade, banjaare nain
Nain parindey, pagle do nain

Nain parindey baadal baadal
Khwaabon ke sitaare chug lenge
Hoo nain parindey chaand chura kar
Palkon se apni dhak lenge
Palak jhapakte udh jayenge
Sapno ko apne ghar layenge
Mashoor bade, matwaale nain
Nain parindey, pagle do nain

Hoo nain parindey roshan roshan
Andhiaare saare dho denge
Hoo nain parindey chalke chalke
Palkon ko moond ke ro lenge
Palak jhapakte udh jayenge
Gumm ko bhula ke muskaayenge
Majboor nahi, sapniley nain
Nain parindey, pagle do nain

Nain parindey, pagle do nain
Nain parindey, jaagein din raein
Pankh jhatak yeh udh jayenge
Aasmaan mein kho jayenge
Maghroor bade, banjaare nain
Nain parindey, pagle do nain

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

अबला या बला ?

नारी  क्या  है  ये ...अबला  या  बला  ?
अबला है तो प्यार ही पूजा है  , बला  है तो आज ये तो कल कोई दूजा  है 
अबला है तो पति के चरणों में परमेश्वर है  , बला है तो परमेश्वर के चरणों में पति है 
अबला  है तो दिन में सावन रात में पतझड़ है  , बला है तो दिन में पतझड़  रात  में सावन है 
अबला है तो सत्कार सेवा सम्मान है  , बला है तो  मुसीबतों की  दुकान  है 
अबला हो या बला हो वक़्त ने यही बताया है  ,इसके अंतर्मन को कोई नर समझ न पाया है !

yad ate hain...

Jisne kar di apni puri jindagi mohabbat ke naam ,
       aaj wo bhi dil ke kisi kone me khud ko akela pate hain
Aansuo ko phir bhi kisi tarah rok lete hain ,
       par dil rota hai or kahata hai wo aaj bhi bahut yaad ate hain

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Yar Anmulle

sade yaaran di yaari hai anmol
sade yaaran da tashaan hi kuch hor
assi karde han yaraan naal baharan
yaaran bin hun apna na gujara

yar ta sade dil che basde ne
yaari che assi jinde marde ne
ye pal do pal di rishtedari ni
e farz ta umran tak nibhande ne

o rabba meri ik ardaas sun le
naseeba wich yaaran da sath likh de
vichharna gavara ni ab yaaran da
bhanve dukhde hor hazaar likh de

-Ashish Lahoti (7,Aug Friendship Day)

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Chennai Humour

Chennai bole to chain nahi
जंहा  akka  के  बालों  में  गजरे  का  सजना
उस  पे  गुलाब  की  कली  का  अपना  चहकना
फिर  मीलो  दूर  तक  उसका  महकना
अई अइय्यो बाल  है  या  फूलो  का  गुलदस्ता

Chennai bole to chain nahi
जंहा  anna का  शान  से  lungi पहनना
उस  में  हवा  के  झोंको  का  आना  और  जाना
फिर  istyle से  lungi का  ऊपर  चढ़ाना
Yenna Rascala  , mind it...

Chennai bole to chain nahi
जंहा  saapada खाके  दिन  में  भी  सोना
उस  पे  meals के  नाम  पे  बस  rice होना
lemon,sambhar,curd rice और  biryani
idly,dosa,uttappam भी  बोलते  rice की  जुबानी

Chennai bole to chain nahi
जंहा  सूरज  का भी अपना गुस्सा निकालना
काले  साये  और  बन्दे  में  फरक  न  रहना
बिन  बोले  बरसात  का  कभी  भी  बरसना
Winter illeya , only HOT...

Chennai bole to chain nahi
जंहा  Rajnikanth का  चलता  नाम  है
भगवान  भी  जिसकी  हरकतों  से  हैरान  है
जंहा  karunanidhi-amma का  बदलता  राज  है
जिनके  कुकर्मो  से  ये आज भी  madras  है

Chennai me ab chain nahi
जंहा  चाल  ढाल  खान  पान  रंग  रूप  भाषा  है  हटके
"At your own risk"  जो  इसके  आस पास  फटके

-Ashish Lahoti (Aug 1,2011)

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

क्यों ?

हम पराये ही भले थे फिर यूँ अपनापन जताया क्​यों था 
जब साथ छोड़ कर जाना  ही था फिर हाथ मिलाया क्यों था
जब उड़ना  ही था ओ परिंदे तो यंहा बसेरा ​बसाया क्यों था 
किया इंतजार बहुत पर उस पार​ से लहरों को आना ही क्यों था  

-आशीष लाहोटी (१६ -जुलाई -११ )